‘Spain beats the world as the home of the donkey.’

– The Nelson Evening Mail, Thursday, November 1, 1906

There’s a missing kink in the Pakistani cricket
line-up.

There’s a theory in the circus that Etonians are
discreet.

All whales have syphillis.

Piers Morgan is a cunt.

Finnegans Wake is, in an important sense, unr-
eadable.

Captivus vulgaris Kenyensis is not a subspecies
of Homo sapiens.

In the tenth century you could buy a good cow
for twenty pence.

God is a black woman. Whoopi Goldberg, maybe.

Many of London’s fences are made of old WW2
stretchers.

Some people suffer a disturbance where they’re
afraid the sun won’t come up.

To be provincial is to be deprived.

The United States Postal Service is having deliv-
ery problems.

Broken hearts make it rain.

A S H Smyth writes. Find out more at: www.ashsmyth.com.