English is a dynamic, growing language. New words are born on American soil every day, in part through verbing: converting a noun or other part of speech into a verb. Think “I googled him” or “pencil me in to your schedule” or “we ideated in the boardroom.”

 

In honor of the recent Republican presidential debates, we give you five new verbs to incorporate into our ever-changing idiom:

 

1) trump (v) – a) to pointlessly insert misogynistic, xenophobic or sophomoric content into a discussion.

 

A: Man, the boss sure asked some hard questions at my presentation. She must be on her period.

 

B: Dude, why you gotta trump? 

 

b) to smear an opponent with cloying, viscous flattery in an attempt to deflect a real question.

 

A: Can you explain why your report is riddled with errors?

 

B: You’re a beautiful woman.

 

A: Don’t try to trump your way out of this.

 

2) carson (v) – to knowingly enter into a situation woefully unprepared

 

Wow, check out this video: this guy’s carsoning a sword fight with a stick of uncooked spaghetti!

 

3) fiorina (v) – to vehemently claim to have watched an event that never happened.

 

Patient frequently fiorinas about the dangers of Sasquatch based on imagined footage of him campaigning to be president.

 

4) reagan (v) – to glow with an unquenchable flame of mythical glory.

 

The actress playing the queen reaganed in a golden gown and sparkling diadem, a radiant counterpart to the ragged peasants in the chorus. 

 

5) cnn (v) – to pass off goading with rehashed taunts as leading an informed discussion.

 

Hey, I didn’t prepare for class. Let’s cnn this joint: “I think an understanding of the political dynamics behind Titus Andronicus can best be illuminated by an analysis of why Bruce called Jane a ‘skank-ass ho.’ Discuss.” 

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With a BA in English and an MA in German Language and Literature, Tara Campbell has a demonstrated aversion to money and power. Tweet her up at @TaraCampbellCom.