…so I’m here to introduce you to THE TEAHOUSE UNDERGROUND FUNNIES. Whenever the Queen or the Mob (or whoever the fuck’s in charge here) looks the other way, we present works of satirical goodness.

By who?

By you! This is me asking you to do me a favor and send your humor pieces to underground [at]

What sort of stuff you looking for, my n-word?

You got some fucking nerve calling me–

It’s cool, dog; I’m black.

Oh, OK. Why didn’t you say that before?

…Anyway, send humor pieces that go there. That float up on the edge of bad taste. That make us laugh out loud. That are 2,000 words or less (of course I’ll look at longer stuff, but that shit gotta be extra funny). Send pieces that may or may not have any words at all–images, comics, animation. Don’t send your short stories, just your humor pieces, your mockeries. Make us think while we laugh, make us uncomfortable, make us sad through our laughter, make us cry, most of all make us feel. Provoke something.

Satire > Straight-up humor, but funny is funny and I’ll snap up your pure silliness with the quickness if I’m laughing. Women, queer folks, POCs…don’t hold out on me. Send your shit. White folks too, but y’all ain’t need a personal invite.

Submit to: underground [at]

Periodically, we’ll have special themes and we’ll do a post letting you know what we’re looking for.



  • We’re always looking for holiday pieces to post on or around our various holidays, from the obscure to the major; from the sacred to the silly.


(Note in your cover letter if you’re submitting for a particular theme.)

underground [at]

Periodically, I update this page so check back!


First read: The ghost of Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

Second read: The ghost of Richard Pryor.

Third read: The ghost of Mark Twain.

Final decision: Rion Amilcar Scott (not my ghost. Just me. Unless I die. Then my ghost will make the final decisions.)

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