Yo Daddy so white, he takes selfies at cross burnings.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he gave Dr. Yakub a new lab coat for Father’s Day.

 

Yo Daddy so white, when he makes a viral video he makes Africa pay double for the vaccine.

 

Yo Mama so white, she got a conceal and carry permit for her whiteness. And it’s expired.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he thought people should wait for the toxicology report on Cecil the Lion before they rushed to judgment.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he thought the murder of Emmett Till was about honoring heritage. And state’s rights.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he gets all his irony from a mine in Congo.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he don’t know the difference between consent and consent decree.

 

Yo Daddy so white, his tears taste like Capri-Sun.

 

Yo Mama so white, she’s 1/136th Cherokee.

 

Yo Mama so white, she only see in three colors: Black, White, and Nigger.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he celebrated White Appreciation Month by forgetting he was white.

 

Yo Daddy so white, even his sacrilegious depictions of the prophet Muhammad got blonde highlights.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he declared war on poverty so he could corner the market.

 

Yo Daddy so white, his taser shoots hollow points.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he got a noose app.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he stands at the intersection of race and class directing traffic.

 

Yo Mama so white, she taught her dog how to be colorblind.

 

Yo Mama so white, she got double unconsciousness.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he started Black Twitter.

 

Yo Daddy so white, all his trades are triangular.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he celebrates June Neenth.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he went to Jamba Juice and ordered a Strange Fruit smoothie.

 

Yo Mama so white, when I shook your family tree a Neanderthal fell out.

 

Yo Mama so white, all her Negroes are magical.

 

Yo Mama so white, her favorite color blush is Minstrel.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he invented inventing.

 

Yo Daddy so white, he discovered discovering.

 

Yo Daddy so white, there aren’t enough spreadsheets to contain all the blood.

 

Yo Daddy so white, his God complex got an indoor pool and a bike rack out front.

 

Yo Daddy so white, the small pox on his blankets got small pox.
Yo Daddy so white, when he loves America he don’t even use a rubber.

*

Abdel Shakur’s writing has been published in Santa Clara Review, 2 Bridges Literary Review, Glint, Scissors and Spackle, The Other Journal, Gawker, and Indiana Review. You can find more of his work at misstraknowitall.blogspot.com and@misstraknowit. Some of his best relatives are white.