6 am: Did I make out with a broet last night?
6:03 am: Look around and realize you are not in your bedroom but at the bus station.
6:04 am: Walk home putting the pieces of last night back together. You swear you were visiting your grandparents but the taste of stale beer and gin persists in your mouth.
7 am: Crawl back into bed.
9 am: Wake up again. This time to the sounds of your roommates grinding up on each other. This is what you get for not booking early at the conference hotel.
9:30 am: Get to meeting about the panel discussion you are moderating.
9:35 am: Get into an argument with the children’s librarian about the size of the chairs appropriate for your discussion.
9:38 am: Realize he thinks you want to read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie to the next group of four year olds.
9:39 am: Get the hell out of there.
10 am: Tweet about the AWP schedule of events but find no one is responding. They are still asleep.
10:30 am: Take advantage of their sleeping. Become mayor of like five bars in Minneapolis on Foursquare. Ha. Revenge.
12 noon: Take a long lunch and attempt to “network.” Odd how all of the people you’re networking with keep telling you they already have a job.
3 pm: Get to your Off-Site reading location. Climb down the steps to the church basement only to find a group of people already sitting in a circle.
3:01 pm: They all tell you that you’re welcome to join them so you sit down with a cup of free coffee. Lot’s of crying. Must be a performance based genre.