6 am: Did I make out with a broet last night?

6:03 am: Look around and realize you are not in your bedroom but at the bus station.

6:04 am: Walk home putting the pieces of last night back together.  You swear you were visiting your grandparents but the taste of stale beer and gin persists in your mouth.

7 am: Crawl back into bed.

9 am: Wake up again.  This time to the sounds of your roommates grinding up on each other.  This is what you get for not booking early at the conference hotel.

9:30 am: Get to meeting about the panel discussion you are moderating.

9:35 am: Get into an argument with the children’s librarian about the size of the chairs appropriate for your discussion.

9:38 am: Realize he thinks you want to read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie to the next group of four year olds.

9:39 am: Get the hell out of there.

10 am: Tweet about the AWP schedule of events but find no one is responding.  They are still asleep.

10:30 am: Take advantage of their sleeping.  Become mayor of like five bars in Minneapolis on Foursquare.  Ha.  Revenge.

12 noon: Take a long lunch and attempt to “network.”  Odd how all of the people you’re networking with keep telling you they already have a job.

3 pm:  Get to your Off-Site reading location.  Climb down the steps to the church basement only to find a group of people already sitting in a circle.

3:01 pm: They all tell you that you’re welcome to join them so you sit down with a cup of free coffee. Lot’s of crying.  Must be a performance based genre.