This weekend, Twitter was all a-twitter about a Texas food-focused public relations firm who, out of ignorance, or (less likely) malice, named themselves Strange Fruit PR. Twitter users pointed out that the company shared the name of a famous anti-lynching song sung beautifully and mournfully in 1939 by Billie Holiday.

The company first attempted to re-define a strange fruit as a sort of free spirit, a wild creative genius who can “stand out in a crowd.” Twitter disagreed and the firm’s owners, Ali Slutsky and Mary Mickel, apologized, promised to change their company’s name and removed its online presence.

We present here an exclusive statement by Slutsky and Mickel about their plans to make amends for their error:

Our company specializes in superior customer service so causing offense and leaving behind a trail of tears runs counter to our goals. For that we apologize. First, we will find a more suitable name for our company, one that captures the spirit of our organization; we are, in fact, quite a peculiar institution. Secondly, we’ve hired our favorite duo, Brad Paisley and LL Cool J, to write us a jingle. We can’t wait for you to hear this extraordinary rendition of what will soon be a hit song. Finally, our friend, children’s book author Daniel Handler (most commonly known by his pen name, Lemony Snicket), has agreed to become our new spokesman. Working under the hilarious name, Watermelony Snicket, Handler will re-introduce our company in his typically whimsical fashion. We’re just a small Texas outfit so you could call our plans to make amends our southern strategy. This is our final solution. 

 

In conclusion, All Lives Matter.

 

Sincerely, your friends at Birth-of-a-Nation PR