Satire: I Am Sand

I do not

give a fuck

whether you are Rob from Eastbourne

Or Sally from Scunthorpe


If you order takeaway,

follow a paleo


cook from scratch

and organic

play flute in a bedsit in Coulsdon South

or the bongo in Hackney Downs

just to name some of the things I give zero fucks about.


If you have seborrheic eczema

of the scalp

irritable bowel syndrome




because of a massive pair

of testicles

or you hate listicles,

like this one.


I am sand.

I get in your crack.

Been here forever.

And ever.

Like one hundred years.


And I am made of finely divided rock and mineral particles,

defined by size as finer than gravel and coarser than silt.


I am sand. That’s it.


Fernando Sdrigotti (@f_sd) is a Middle-Aged White Man?

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