MISFIT DOC: Poems on Online Reviews of Clothing

  1. Poem on a Dress

I bought this

For a dinner date

That I was sure

Would lead to dancing.


  1. Poem on a Bathing Suit

I have a very large bust,

So I have not found

A decent swimsuit

In many years.

I was a little scared

To buy a swimsuit


But once I found this one,

It was love at first sight.

My only complaint

Is the halter.


  1. Poem on a Pair of Shorts

Great, flattering shorts.

I pair them with heels

Or boots,

Which make me look


And slimmer.


  1. Poem on a Blouse

The sleeves

Are weird.



  1. Poem on a Skirt

My husband

Doesn’t like

This skirt

Because he says

It’s too long.

I think it’s retro,

But I’m going to return it.

So just know

That it’s on

The long side.


  1. Poem on Leggings




Awesome color,


And fabric.


  1. Poem on a Sweater

This sweater is


On me,

And coming off

My shoulders.



  1. Poem on a Pair of Shoes

My husband saw these


And thought

They were very


I was already considering

Buying them.

His comment decided it.


  1. Poem on a Romper

I really wanted

To like this romper,

But it is way too short

In the torso

So it will ride up

Your crack.


  1. Poem on Graphic Tee

This runs long,

But it can be

Tucked in.


Susan Harlan is an English professor at Wake Forest University, and her work has appeared in venues including The Guardian US, Roads & Kingdoms, The Morning News, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Atlas Obscura, The Toast, Public Books, and The Establishment. 

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