: Pig News

(it has been reported that David Cameron

the British Prime Minister, put his penis


into the mouth of a dead pig

as part of an initiation ceremony

into an exclusive brotherhood)


Let us first disgust ourselves

And then settle down to rule


Visiting poverty upon those

Who could never possibly

Become members

Of this, our selective gentility


Unless it is to serve, grateful

As grandparents

Limping, after World War One


To beat for fattened birds

To rise unsteadily half asleep

From life to certain death


Over Saddleworth Moor

Where Ian and Myra still sit


picnicking, out of breath


God Save the Queen


: Initiation

My favourite story about David Cameron

Face fucking a dead pig will always be this


It doesn’t matter to me how many times

He did it there’s something utterly delightful

About that initial discovery and the sense

Of absolute correctness which accompanied


My thoughts. Yes


First, in the style


Of a goal being scored but then more sagely

As the world made better sense than before

With commentators rushing to camera and print

Telling all and sundry it was just a jolly jape

And the type of thing all chaps did at Oxford

If indeed they did and Dave certainly didn’t


Why would he need with such a fragrant wife?


I don’t suppose we’ll ever know

Except in our base imaginations


This is how they choose themselves, friend

So determine their fitness to rule, to appal


Steven Taylor was born in Hyde near Manchester. He now lives in Kilburn, north London. He has had over 500 poems published in magazines and collections across the world.

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