1. There’s a gremlin on the wing of the plane. No one else seems to notice him but me. He bears an uncanny resemblance to Steve Guttenberg.
  2. A tailor tricks me into thinking that he’s made me really fancy clothing. It turns out that I’ve been walking around in a Juicy Couture sweatsuit.
  3. All of my teeth fall out. I get some really good dentures, but I can’t eat Laffy Taffy anymore.
  4. I finally have all the time to read in the world; the catch is that the only book left is Jonathan Franzen’s The Corrections.
  5. I go back in time and accidentally kill the guy who invented the spoon. Pudding as we know it ceases to exist.
  6. I’m trapped in Queen Mob’s Teahouse being chased by an endless army of hedgehogs.
  7. I’m back in high school. Nothing particularly bad is happening; high school just kind of sucked.
  8. I’m stuck in a Goya painting, but it’s not even one of the good ones.
  9. I look in the mirror, but I see someone else’s face. I’m Steve Guttenberg.
  10. Existence is the eternal nightmare that plagues us all.

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