MISFIT DOC: Things That Rachel Weisz Does

As a Raven-Haired Raven from the Land of Ravens Where They Do Raven-y Things


“I know that if you ask the hazel-eyed, raven-haired 48-year-old how she gets more beautiful every year, defying Hollywood’s propensity to push actresses in their 40s through a trap door, she will shyly demur.” Maureen Dowd, “She’s Got Surprises, Onscreen and Off,” The New York Times, April 22, 2018


Eats mice.

Prophesizes things.

Collects things.


Raps and taps at chamber doors.

Pecks at things.

Uses hand gestures.

Struts around, being glossy and black.

Eats carcasses.

Shits on your car.

Belongs to a “flock,” “ conspiracy,” or “unkindness.”

Wanders from the nightly shore.

Hangs out in the Tower of London.

Damages crops.

Puts rocks in jars.

Recruits other ravens to food bonanzas.

Delivers messages to Winterfell.

Is super-smart.

Makes short, repeated, shrill calls.

Makes movies.

Says “Nevermore” a lot.

Lucy Sweet is a straw-haired, bleary-eyed 45-year-old writer based in Glasgow, Scotland. In her spare time, she enjoys pushing other women over 40 through trap doors.
Susan Harlan's writing has appeared in venues including The Guardian US, The Paris Review Daily, The Toast, Roads & Kingdoms, The Common, The Morning News, Curbed, Queen Mob’s Tea House, Avidly, The Hairpin, Public Books, and The Awl. She teaches English literature at Wake Forest University, and her book Luggage is out with the Bloomsbury series Object Lessons.

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