“When I want to think about Shakespeare and glory days that will pass you by and the skeleton frames of burned-out Chevrolets, but mostly about Shakespeare, this is the book for me.” — Bruce Springsteen

“This book is very disappointingly not about French things, but it still pairs nicely with a dry red.” — Marion Cotillard

“I like this book as much as anything I ever saw from the town trollop when I was a kid, and she was downright fabulous.” — Dolly Parton

“I would like to play the role of Chapter Three’s discursive footnote #17 in the film adaptation.” — Patrick Stewart

“I would also like to play the role of Chapter Three’s discursive footnote #17. We will discuss this, Patrick.” — Ian McKellen

“It would be my pleasure to take the author out for an extravagant dinner, during which time we will discuss Shakespeare, and her youthful, formative crush on me, and possibly other things.” — Steve Martin

“The cover looks lovely on the utterly Parisian mantelpiece in my utterly Parisian apartment.” — Kristin Scott Thomas

“The bafflingly long chapter titles are almost as good as my face.” — Mark Ruffalo

“I would like to go shopping with the person who wrote this book and maybe let her wear my glasses if she is nice.” — Iris Apfel

“This is the book that I bring with me on my glamorous travels. It’s indispensable.” — Joanna Lumley

“I’ve been feeling a little bad cause I’ve been feeling a little better since this academic book came out.” — Willie Nelson

“I want to read this book almost as much as I want to re-watch Tootsie. Which I’m in. Which is genius.” — Dustin Hoffman

“The Acknowledgments section didn’t seem to forget too many people.” — John Oliver

“If there was one law of the West: bastards had brothers who seemed to ride forever. But this book isn’t so much about that as Shakespeare and what-not.” — Kathleen Turner

Susan Harlan is an English professor at Wake Forest University and a freelance writer. Her humor writing has appeared in venues including McSweeney's Internet Tendency, The Awl, The Billfold, Avidly, The Toast, Robot Butt, and The Establishment. When she is not being sexually harassed or filling out forms, she enjoys collecting things that she does not need.