MISFIT DOC: From The Becky Crocker Kitchens

Farro and Scary Greens Mush


1/2 cup dry farro cooked unsuccessfully

1 shitload of various greens picked from the neighbor’s garden

Juice of 1/2 small lemon that’s fucking hard as a rock and might actually be a rock

1 giant handful of 3 year old golden raisins

2 oz. cream cheese room temperature



Cook the farro until it’s completely and horrifyingly mushy

Add the cream cheese and stir it until it’s all melted into a brown clump

While the farro is on low heat wash and chop the stolen greens and really wash them in case a hooker wandered over from Aurora during the night and peed on them then add them to the farro

Roll the lemon then microwave it for an hour if you are lucky enough to have a microwave I don’t have one do I miss it? yes but there it is so use your girl or boy hand muscles and squeeze the lemon juice into the mush

Add the dismaying raisins and hope one of them doesn’t break your tooth


Rebecca Loudon is the author of Radish King and Cadaver Dogs. Her work forthcoming in Tammy. She is a professional musician and teaches violin lessons to children.

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