All My Best Pick Up Lines

For the betterment of society I have decided to reveal my top five pick up lines.  I hope these tried-and-true sentiments can help break the ice and foster a real connection between you and your incipient soulmate.


5.  Everybody comes with baggage – mine’s monogrammed.

4.  Gotta fly?  I’ll see you around, robin.

3.  I like dick, and you possess some anatomical features that lead me to believe that you might have one.  May I see it?

2.  Ampersands are MY favorite form of punctuation, too!

1.  You’ve got the silliest tits in town!


Author’s Note:  Enthusiasm and volume really help #1 along.  Never be ashamed to declare the degree of silliness to which you find someone’s tits.  Likely they’ll be flattered, and thank you for pointing it out later.

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