1.  “The ending wasn’t very surprising.”

2.  “A pizza delivery girl? Why can’t she be a cable technician or a plumber?”

3.  “But logistically, her feet can’t literally be wrapped around her ears, unless she’s Gumby.”

4.  “That’s inherently sexist.”

5.  “Sex IS sexist.”

6.  “There’s too much “gasping” and “sighing,” how about a nice “sputter” once in awhile.”

7.  “So you’re saying the tribbles were actually little vaginas multiplying exponentially? That’s fucked up.”

8.  “Stilettos on or stilettos off? I don’t want to say I’m speaking from experience but they aren’t good dildos, just saying.”

9.  “I can’t keep track of who’s doing what to who, can you cut some pronouns?”

10.  “Is the lubricant biodegradable?”

11.  “Is the condom dolphin safe?”

12.  “Are the edible panties gluten free?”

13.  “Wait, who’s the speaker? I assumed it was a personal memoir, baby.”

14.  “I don’t get why he’d spit on it first considering she’s described as ‘a ready-ripe plum.”

15.  “This seems to be stealing from Anais Nin.”

16.  “Were 19th Century Native Americans cut or uncut, because Red Wolf sounds circumcised.”

17.  “I know it’s a circus, but it’s really offensive to little people.”

18.  “I doubt a tyrannosaurus rex could even reach that far while fucking at the same time.”

19.  “You know in some cultures mustaches on women are attractive.”

20.  “Men shouldn’t  throw women to the ground and rip their clothes off, even if her eyes are ‘alighted with fury and lust.'”

21.  “Why can’t the babysitter be male?”

22.  “Technically that’s impossible unless he used Viagra.”

23.  “You’re mixing your metaphors too generously–speeding trains AND champagne corks popping is a bit heavy-handed.”

24.  “Did Trilliem Delight see stars or fireworks and can sex robots orgasm?”

25.  “What’s a dirty Sanchez? Sounds racist.”

26.  “I thought it was overly cliché especially the heteronormative aspects.”