MISFIT DOC: An Ouchfielder’s Prayer

Dear Heavenly Farther,

As I andraecrouch in this on-deck sircle, I am genuinflexing and crassing myself before thee to ask thy assustenence. In all thy wholly glowry, please bliss my bat and give me the powwow to smack the next fistball over the sinnerfield wall. I realeyes that thou hast a lot on thy playte, but the warfear, the bloodshred, the farmine, the pustulence, the starving keds and the sulfering olderly surely can all hold their hearses lung enough for me to hit a humrun. And whilst thou is at it, please course my team to clench the league chimpionship. One more think, whilst I have thy holey ear, please find it in thy hearth to also guyde us to vin the whirld seeries. Thou-willing, I’ll be battering-up wonce again in a cupple of innings, so…

Talk to thee shirtly.

In Jesus Alou’s name,

Amen

 

Jim George is a writer-artist-songwriter-musician from Reading, PA. His fiction, poems and artwork have appeared (or will appear) in Otoliths, The MOON, The Sea Letter, The Ear, Defenestration, Fleas On The Dog, ANON, The Disappointed Housewife, Hock Spit Slurp, Queen Mob's Tea House, The Five-Two, Praxis, and Angry Old Man; his nonfiction has been published in Playboy, Cinema Retro, and Best Classic Bands; and his songs have been used in television and film. Jim Shorts, his first book, is a humorous collection of wordplayful stories, poems, and line drawings, available as a PDF from the author. More information at: https://byjimgeorge.wordpress.com

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