Here’s an idea: give the gift of deep throat this holiday season. If there’s something to deep throat, that is. Or perform it on the candlesticks at that one boring holiday party you hope you’re never invited to again. Depending on your gag reflexes, it can take anywhere from a couple of weeks to several months to learn how to deep throat. It takes practice, discipline, control. Like ballet. Or more accurately, like sword swallowing.

The sex act gained popularity with the now classic 70s film Deep Throat. The film itself was more comedy than snuff. While bad acting is a staple in the porn industry, the fireworks and rocket launching montages made it okay to laugh. (I mean, the premise of film is that the main character has her clitoris in the back of her throat. How do you not laugh at that?) And then there was their star, Linda Lovelace, who could make an entire penis disappear into her mouth with little difficulty. The penis magician. The film earned millions and made Lovelace a legend. Although she made less than $2000 out of it.

Then there was a more recent film, Lovelace, where Amanda Seyfried’s rendition of the porn actress reminded us that Lovelace was an unwilling participant of the entire snuff film. And if you’ve watched the original Deep Throat, then you’ve watched the product of a physically and sexually abused woman doing what her husband wanted her to do because she was too afraid of him to leave him. People on set claim they didn’t know she was being coerced.

Oh, I’m sorry, did that make you uncomfortable?

Good. Because both the history and the act of deep throating are uncomfortable and denying that benefits no one. Like learning how to swallow a sword, deep throating takes training and consistent practice. It’s a “use it or lose it” skill with a troubling past.  

Deep throating boils down to discipline. Your body has gag reflexes to prevent you from choking. Therefore, you need to learn to control your gag reflexes in order to get to the point where you can massage a penis with your throat.

TIPS:

-Breathe regularly while you’re inserting your practice object or a penis. Holding your breath will only make you gag faster.

-Flatten your tongue against the floor of your mouth (as if saying “ahhh”) to open wider .

-Once the object is in your mouth, though, breathe through your nose.

-To learn how to control your gag reflex, use a toothbrush and slowly brush as far back in your mouth as you can without throwing up. The more you practice, the further back you’ll be able to go

-Do the same thing with a dildo. Try using the most realistic dildo you can afford.

-DO NOT use a banana or anything that can break off in your throat.

-Use a water-based lube the first couple of times you practice. Lube should help you get past some of the reflex issues at first.  Once you start practicing, you’ll notice that your saliva thickens. That’s your throat’s natural lubricant. If you’re comfortable with your natural lubricant, you might not need the water-based lube.

-Use throat spray. This a personal favorite. It’s a bit like cheating, since you’re not training your gag reflexes, but just numbing the back of your throat. It takes a couple of minutes to kick in, but once it does, deep throating is no problem.

-Practice

Unlike the movie, we don’t have a clit in the back our throats. Deep throating is a skill that only benefits the receiving party. A very pleased receiving party. You might take pride in that. If you do, put a bow on your cheek and open wide.

Happy holidays!

Gem Blackthorn is QMT's Sex Columnist, and the author/curator of Lust Thrust Thursdays. Send her your submissions and questions at sexsexsex [at] queenmobs.com