My life is currently like
that movie Room, but
instead of a kid I have a cat,
and we’re locked in here
pretty much by choice.
After plans go belly up,
a heartbroken man forces himself
into solitary bedroom confinement,
where he must reconnect with his once
neglected cat on the deepest levels, like
when they nap together, or even when
they listen to the music of Oasis together.
Emotions run wild in this taut buddy thriller
that Janet Maslin of The New York Times calls,
“Very sad. Very sad, indeed. Holy shit. Wow.”
Portrait of the Artist Purchasing 40 lbs. of Cat Litter at 4 AM on Amazon Dot Com
I used to think cats were cool
but the older they get,
the more bullshit they are.
People too, I suppose.
Just going to complain about my cat until one of us maybe dies
my cat would rather lay around
in a dusty old shed
and drink rain water
than hangout with me,
which I completely understand.
Hearing your cat puke in the other room.
Finding where the puke is without stepping in it.
My cat smells like pork lo mein, does yours?
I recently asked someone how their injured cat was doing
but I didn’t listen to the answer
because I was too busy texting with someone who hates me
and now I have no idea how the injured cat is doing,
so please stuff me in a garbage disposal.
I still think Look Who’s Talking Meow is the kind of comedy blockbuster we, as a nation, deserve
When your cat is sleeping on an empty pizza box
in the kitchen corner where bagged-up trash is kept
and you call your cat over to come sleep on you instead
because—let’s be real here—you too are a piece of trash.
BRIAN ALAN ELLIS is the author of several books, including Sad Laughter (Civil Coping Mechanisms, 2018) and Something to Do with Self-Hate (House of Vlad/Talking Book, 2017). His writing has appeared at Juked, Hobart, Monkeybicycle, Electric Literature, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, Funhouse, Heavy Feather Review, Talking Book, and Queen Mob’s Tea House, among other places. He lives in Florida, and tweets sad and clever things at both @brianalanellis and @HouseofVlad.