Really Shit MacGyver Episodes

How will MacGyver deal with a dirty floor when all he has is a mop and bucket?

What will MacGyver do when he needs to make more than one copy of a document and the only other thing in the room is a photocopier?

How will MacGyver use his wits to solve the problem of the very bland colouring book using only textas?

How will MacGyver fit in with the local youths manned with only a baseball cap, a skateboard and his sick dance moves?

MacGyver is faced with his own ridiculously overgrown bikini line, what will he do when the only thing on his person is a box of wax strips?

MacGyver needs to leave the house but the only shoes available are crocs or two tissue boxes what will he do?

How will our hero liven up his nanna’s 80th using only the booze he snuck in?

Cut-off shorts have suddenly come back into fashion and all MacGyver has are some regular length denim jeans and fabric scissors.

What will MacGyver do with his wonky coffee table when the only thing in sight is an old phonebook?

MacGyver needs to paint a wall green but all he has is useless buckets of blue and yellow paint.

How will MacGyver solve his flat tire dilemma with only a jack, a spare and a lug wrench?

How will MacGyver form an allegiance with some otherwise mean ducks near his local pond using only a loaf of bread he just happened to have bought?

MacGyver is faced with a scary looking spider in his lounge, how will he handle himself using only a magazine, a glass and his cunning?

MacGyver needs to express to a friend the unwavering nature of their friendship and all he can find is a cardboard loom and some bright yarn.

How will MacGyver show his dominance at the pool party using just 20 pool noodles and the only water pistol there?

Ellen Muller is a Melbourne based publishing student in her final year of study. She can usually be found in the library basement doing some writing/editing work and flagrantly disobeying the ‘no food’ sign. You can find more of her writing at or @ellen_jane_muller.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Do not feed bread to ducks, it is bad for them. Instead, please give them frozen peas or seeds or other foods they would encounter in their day-to-day ducky lives. Or just leave them alone to the Mad Max-style ducktopia they already live, thrive and survive in.

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