Torpid Slivers #28

Though handsome and easy to maintain, the Coelobonese shingle plant (Dischidia coelobonesis) is not recommended for anyone prone to superstition or related anxieties, as it is without doubt the plant associated with the greatest number of bad omens. Native to Sulepawak, this succulent features leaves that slowly throb to indicate thirst, though never all of them at once. The number of leaves quivering at one time can vary greatly, but Sulepawan tradition has an omen for nearly any possible amount. The first twelve are as follows:

1 leaf: Generally inauspicious.

2 leaves: A journey planned should not be made.

3 leaves: A bad dream will come true.

4 leaves: A loved one will become gravely ill.

5 leaves: Large inanimate objects will conspire to tear apart your favorite child as an owl would a mouse.

6 leaves: You will go down in history as the perpetrator of a hideous crime that no one will know you did not commit.

7 leaves: The coming rain will begin to boil just before it hits you.

8 leaves: The eyes of people nearby will disappear from their sockets and emerge from your mouth when you speak.

9 leaves: You will feel an insatiable erotic urge to embrace a baboon engulfed in flames.

10 leaves: Your kindness will result only in leprosy.

11 leaves: Your most beautiful ideas will disfigure you.

12 leaves: Tiny birds with anesthetic in their beaks will attack you when you are drowsy and you will not understand what is happening.

The folklore also accommodates the way the solid, fleshy leaves can at times break in half and still pulsate, as in the following example:

26½ leaves: Your triplets will have beautiful features but remain entirely hairless and possess cobra-like flesh hoods that will expand as they sway and whisper together.

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