Hard, Warm

Today one of the trainers at my gym told me he can tell that I am spontaneous, passionate, and very observant. This even though I walk around the gym serious and grumpy most of the time. I have my routines and I stick to them. I don’t talk to anyone. I wonder how he knows what he knows. He also told me he can tell that I am funny. “Hard shell, warm heart,” he said.

In Vancouver last weekend, a friend I was staying with, told me that I should have been a psychoanalyst, something I’ve always considered. He said rather than take medication or see an analyst, people should just talk to me over two glasses of wine and they would feel better. He was referring to a depressed friend in particular, who has just started seeing an analyst.

Teaching Lars and The Real Girl tomorrow. Doughy, sad Gosling from Lars, and gaunt, drug-addicted Gosling from Half Nelson combine to make a perfect-looking man. Neither of those men are really him. I never find Gosling bearable or attractive anymore. Funny, I hated Lars when it first came out. Now, 8 years later, I see it as a public mourning film, where a whole community participates to help someone heal (albeit a white man), and am moved.

Crossposted with Love Dog.

Images from Lars and the Real Girl, Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer, 2007

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