Lust Thrust Thursdays: Sex Party Fluff

The world of “deviant” sex can be an exciting place. It’s a social contract that says anything goes as long as you’re still having a good time. It can also be downright scary. A night off Craigslist’s Casual Encounter section can become a version of the movie Taken, except Liam Neeson won’t make any throaty threats in your favor.

Luxury sex parties are the new thing. They provide an invite-only situation where most have been pre-screened for arrest record, attractiveness and social standing. But does that necessarily make it safer? There’s a misconception that if someone is rich enough to afford security detail and background checks, they are less pervy than those who can’t afford to provide an orgy in satin sheets and champagne. That’s not necessarily true. Just take billionaire Jeffrey Epstein as an example. He’s a sex offender who allegedly had assistants find girls as young as 12 to, let’s call it what it is, be raped by his friends on his “Sex Slave Island” in the U.S. Virgin Islands. His Boeing 727 is dubbed the Lolita Express. (Both Bill Clinton and Donald Trump have been on board this plane, though Trump has been accused of the rape of a 13-year-old while at the island.) The Palm Beach police have identified at least twenty girls ages 14 to 17 who claim to have been abused by Epstein.

The luxury sex parties that aren’t thrown by creepy billionaires are more about the aesthetic than the performances. They have masquerades, lingerie, mood lighting and the right kind of house music blasting throughout the venue, whether it’s a Miami or London address. Killing Kittens, a part sex party organizer and part social network for couples and singles looking to join them, just had their first American party in New York not too long ago. While highly publicized, it turned out to be something of a downer. Regardless, KK is the UK’s biggest sex party brand and its success has resulted in a blooming season of sex party organizers around the world. Bridging sex and luxury isn’t exactly a new concept, but it’s becoming a bucket list experience if you’re cool or hot enough to get invited.

It’s liberating to be have sex in a room full of strangers. If you’re safe, and not breaking the law (aka, Lolita Express), orgies with people you’re comfortable with are sort of the best thing ever once you get over the social awkwardness. So where does the average person go for these orgies if they’re too afraid of Craigslist and have no social standing to warrant an invitation from one of these new organizers?

Stick to the basics. Find like-minded individuals online. There are apps and social networks dedicated to meeting people for sexual purposes, even orgies. Do your research. If you connect with someone or a couple, don’t just search their names on Facebook and Instagram. That’s lazy. I’ve gotten into the habit of looking up arrest records. It sounds extreme, but anyone’s past of domestic and/or sexual violence will personally affect you if you’re a participant. Meet in a neutral, non-sexual territory the first time around. See if you feel comfortable around them. Ask how they go about meeting people who enjoy groups. Meet their friends. If at any time you sense that something sinister is going on, walk away.

Like I said before, luxury sex parties are more about fluff. It’s about who’s who and what brand of lingerie they’re wearing, which is why some people leave unimpressed. If it’s an orgy that you want, you don’t need to be a billionaire to get it. Just go out and find friends.

Gem Blackthorn is QMT's Sex Columnist, and the author/curator of Lust Thrust Thursdays. Send her your submissions and questions at sexsexsex [at]

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