reading thru diane di prima’s “dinners and nightmares”, part 3: memories of childhood

Allegory of the H Bomb

an erasure


So I said to him Hey mister what’re you doing with that H bomb how come you waving it around like that? You gonna drop it on that building?

in media res                                                  a Noptical Delusionment?

And he sez to me Go home boy, don’t bother me. I’m telling you you make me nervous. Go home or I might get nervous and drop this thing.

So I went home.


So my mother was in the kitchen and I ran in and I said to her Hey ma there’s a big tall man outside he not she a character or version he’s taller than our house and he’s got this bomb in his hand, I think he’s gonna drop this H bomb

So my mother went to the window

there see him?
What are you talking about boy there’s nothing

out there but the tree.


 natural                     my father came home


that         is silenced

seeing is

reading is

        Now wait a minute boy

there’s no such thing as an H bomb


So we had supper and after supper I went to my grand-father’s room to talk to him and I said Grandpa what happens if an H bomb falls? And he said A what sonny?

And I said an H bomb grandpa you know like an atomic bomb only bigger I think. What happens if it falls? And he said It’ll never happen sonny.

And I said Why not grandpa huh why not? Don’t you believe in H bombs huh? Don’t you think there’s such a thing?

And he said I believe in god sonny and god will never let it happen now go play.


So I went out to play and I got Dick and he said

I said You too same thing with me what are we going to do,

three pages

five sections, a microcosm?


    Hi-yo silver                                                                                                          ma started yelling for me

           the Big Tall Man         was sleeping

huh huh huh                  walloped him
smacked me

I kept thinking he might drop it in his sleep especially if he had bad dreams.

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