cover image courtesy of New Hive ...   click here for audio version!  (and then click all the buttons! really, click ALL the buttons!!


has Putin actually ever made love to a horse ???

When I was a kid and rested on the dacha a Kolkhoz groom (if you don’t know what that means I refer you to Animal Farm by George Orwell) asked me to go horse racing with him. The groom had no saddle and five minutes later my ass had turned into a bloody mess. Since then I take great care of my ass!  (and I don’t like horses!).

When I first heard the song Iron horse by Сhristie

Iron horse, iron horse
Keep on burning on its course
Iron horse, iron horse
Burning on and on
Keep on burning on

I loved it and it changed what I thought about horses. But when I found out that the song isn’t about horses but, instead, about trains I changed my mind again.

I don’t know, really: maybe Mr. Huylo, like me, was dancing to this music and shouting

Iron horse, iron horse
Keep on burning on its course.

I am pretty sure Mr. Huylo (unlike me) loves horses. He loves to ride them. He loves, I think, their hooves, tails and manes.

He also likes to wash horses. He loves to comb their manes. We can’t really be sure if he’s ever made love to a horse

Why not?

He loves extremes. He loves Russian history. He loves the Tsars and some say that the Russian Tsarina Ekaterina Grand (Catherine the Great) was a great horse fucker.

Maybe he makes love to The Trojan Horse because Mr. Huylo is a great lover of Greek history. And, coincidentally, Greeks like Mr. Huilo too!

So, I can not say for sure if Mr. Huylo has ever fucked a horse but I know unequivocally that he regularly rides the entire Russian nation. And rides it hard!

Dear readers: where is a horse with which to fuck Mr. Huylo to death ???

putin cake


would Putin have eaten cake with Marie Antoinette ???

Maria Antoinette was born on November 2, 1755, in Vienna. She was the youngest daughter of Empress Maria Theresa and Emperor Francis I She was described at her birth as “a completely healthy archduchess”

Queen of France, youngest daughter of Emperor Francis I and Maria Theresa. Wife of King Louis XVI of France since 1770.

Putin was born on 7 October 1952, in Leningrad (modern day Saint Petersburg) to parents Vladimir Spiridonovich Putin and Maria Ivanovna Putina. His mother was a factory worker, and his father was a conscript in the Soviet Navy.

V.V. Putin president from 2000 to 2008, and as Prime Minister of Russia from 1999 to 2000 and again from 2008 to 2012. During his last term as Prime Minister, he was also the Chairman of United Russia, the ruling party.

As you can see between these people no any ties.  And at the same time their fates very similar.  When Parisians had no bread Marie Antoinette indifferently replied – «S’ils n’ont plus de pain, qu’ils mangent de la brioche» that is, ‘Let them eat brioche’

As a result, she lost her head at 12:15 p.m. on 16 October 1793

Mr Putin (Huylo) offers for Russian people instead of bread war in Ukraine. I am confident that he will end his days in the basement of  the Hague tribunal on war crimes. That’s when he will eat cake with Marie Antoinette.

putin drinking


does Putin consider the Gulag an exotic drink ???

Of course Mr. Huylo definitely consider that it’s drink. But not exotic for him of course.  For ordinary people this an exotic drink

because beverage of Gulag this the blood of millions of people which tortured «best friend of Soviet children»  uncle Joe better known as Joseph Stalin

Mr Putin (better known as Mr Huylo) wants to be like bloody uncle Joe. For Mr. Huylo human blood as potable water for us, dear reader. I hope that very soon he will choke As it happens with known bloody tyrants: Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, сolonel Gaddafi.

I thought to comfort that in the other world they will die of thirst And this death more painful than earthly death.

putin gent collage


in China Putin is a sex symbol ?   does he plan on retiring there ?

from which the question I have to start. As first and also another keep are negative coloration.

Against the background of small, puny, inexpressive, deceiver, hypocrisy, greedy for money and blood their opponents, disappearing to nowhere vampire,  loving boteks more than women Russian president Mr.  Huylo – any Chinese peasant can claim to be a sex symbol. The role that chose Mr Huylo – cloakroom attendant for the first lady of China. But for this profession he is hardly earn a decent pension. Seems to me he will suffocate fishing line by order the first person of China.

But this scarcely likely too because he will be hanged his friendsfrom the co-op by name «Lake» The best option for Mr. Huylo of one’s own free will  give up the Hague tribunal on war crimes. Maybe good judge to save life for him –  resolution of the committee «Life imprisonment» Mr. Huylo stop to fuck mother Russia in all holes and you have to immediately  run towards  Hague tribunal on war crimes. I want to wish you a bon voyage

Goodbye: no handshake to endure.
Let’s have no sadness — furrowed brow.
There’s nothing new in dying now
Though living is no newer.

astronaut collage


has Putin been to space ???  (ever been probed?)

This question is incorrectly specified it would be better ask «Where Mr. Huylo wasn’t» I hesitate to answer on this question because omnipresent:

He flew with the birds, he swim with the fishes, rode with deer, fought with bears, dive in the submersible, drive the military nuclear bomber.

He flew into space without question but  if NOT Russian propaganda singing  «I’m fixing a hole where the rain gets in and stops my mind from wandering» will fixed this hole in the biography their leader. But I would advise Kremlin propagandist «Kiselev and company» stop to fuck the brains Russian people and send Mr. Huylo into deep space with «One way ticketone way ticket. One way ticket. One way ticket. One way ticket to the blues»

putin putin


is it true Putin is a Sudoku whiz ???

What is Sudoku? For today’s teenagers swapped the real world for virtual scrap-heap this is a great mystery.  Generation 70 – 80 is a game of their childhood.

I well remember how, instead of schoolwork I figured out the new a Sudoku puzzle. And so, my young friends,

Sudoku originally called Number Place is a logic – based combinatorial number-placement puzzle. And now, my young friends, sixty-four-thousand-dollar question for you. Could be a person who always wins all his rivals:  judo, chess, tennis, swimming, love, politics, diplomacy, war etcetera – etcetera fucking mind-breaker ?

I have a simple answer – «Never»

«Help me now, please my friend,
I never felt so bad before,
Never never before»

Soon he was going to pull out his nuclear bat. Can you picture what will be ?

My young friends! Generation of programmers! Generation of computer viruses! If you want to have a future in which you will feast one’s eyes on sunrise and sunset, listen to the birds singing, swim in the warm sea, love women and raise your children then create a program that will erase Mr. Huylo from the face of the earth! Otherwise happens like in «The Doors» song

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end.

putin head


 About Vladimir Savich:
Vlad* Savich was born in the USSR, where he was educated, married and fathered his daughter. As soon as the chance appeared to leave, he did. At present he lives in Montreal, where he writes, directs for the theatre and breathes the air of freedom. He can be found online at savich.lit.com.ua.
*He prefers not to be called Vladimir, so as not to be associated with the disreputable activity of a certain barnardine Russian leader.

Submit a comment