it’s harder to brush your teeth without a toothbrush
there’s more sky to swallow
when the buildings are low
and the air smells like pee
you spent ten dollars on a cold pressed juice
and i made fun of you for that
but i spent eight dollars on this milkshake
and i think i might be lactose intolerant
i feel most at home on stage
because on stage i feel crippled by self doubt
i’m learning how to be a moth
because i’m attracted to the things that hurt me
and i keep going back for more
do people go to war memorials for fun
is it offensive to be bored at a war memorial
crotchless panties seem like an unnecessary use of fabric
but i guess you could say the same thing about pants sometimes
there are a lot of people i want to marry but not have sex with
does that mean i just want friends
i think i’m supposed to be using nature metaphors
but i can’t help but think hiking is just an activity for the wealthy
do people that love jogging
realize that no one is chasing them
when you cut off a chicken’s head
why does the body run around
and the head die
giving up is easier said
than done
‘the female gaze is cool’ (and other things straight men have said to me at parties)
what are you reading
are you smart
are you a model
you’re really tall
i’m 6’ so that must mean you’re like 6’2 at least
you seem like an old soul
you seem really sweet
you seem really cool and beautiful but i want you to know this can’t go anywhere past tonight
you’re a cool girl
marina abramovic is cool
the female gaze is cool
do you like mac demarco
do you like lou reed
do you like david bowie
do you like david foster wallace
do you like david byrne
do you like david lynch
do you like twin peaks
do you read books
do you know bukowski
do you know murakami
have you read gravity’s rainbow
can i bum a cigarette
you must be german
you must be swedish
how do you pronounce your last name
how do you spell your last name
is that german
is that swedish
i like your hair
are you a natural blonde
i wish i could pull off bleached hair
could you bleach my hair
could you give me a stick and poke
can you get me molly
can you get me coke
you’re a cool girl
do you like sativa
do you like indica
what are you drinking
can i bum a cigarette
are you going anywhere after this
should i move to l.a.
Today a random man on the internet asked if he could drink my pee. I asked him ‘Do you think the earth gets hurt when we step on it?’ I watched a couple have a casual conversation about car insurance the way a couple would have a casual conversation about car insurance in a car insurance advertisement. The random man on the internet who asked if he could drink my pee told me he wanted to mix it with his cum and make a ‘cocktail.’ The random man on the internet who asked if he could drink my pee always made sure to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ The random man on the internet who asked if he could drink my pee is the only person on the planet concerned about my hydration other than my mother. Today I walked around town with a shirt that said ‘Adidas’ but what I meant was ‘I’m shy but I have a big dick.’
Alexandra Wuest is a writer and poet based in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared in Hobart, Mr. Beller’s Neighborhood, and htmlgiant, among others. She can also be found on Tumblr and Twitter.