POEMS: Alexandra Wuest

it’s harder to brush your teeth without a toothbrush

there’s more sky to swallow
when the buildings are low
and the air smells like pee

you spent ten dollars on a cold pressed juice
and i made fun of you for that
but i spent eight dollars on this milkshake
and i think i might be lactose intolerant

i feel most at home on stage
because on stage i feel crippled by self doubt

i’m learning how to be a moth
because i’m attracted to the things that hurt me
and i keep going back for more

do people go to war memorials for fun
is it offensive to be bored at a war memorial

crotchless panties seem like an unnecessary use of fabric
but i guess you could say the same thing about pants sometimes

there are a lot of people i want to marry but not have sex with
does that mean i just want friends

i think i’m supposed to be using nature metaphors
but i can’t help but think hiking is just an activity for the wealthy

do people that love jogging
realize that no one is chasing them

when you cut off a chicken’s head
why does the body run around
and the head die

giving up is easier said
than done





‘the female gaze is cool’ (and other things straight men have said to me at parties)

what are you reading

are you smart

are you a model

you’re really tall

i’m 6’ so that must mean you’re like 6’2 at least

you seem like an old soul

you seem really sweet

you seem really cool and beautiful but i want you to know this can’t go anywhere past tonight

you’re a cool girl

marina abramovic is cool

the female gaze is cool

do you like mac demarco

do you like lou reed

do you like david bowie

do you like david foster wallace

do you like david byrne

do you like david lynch

do you like twin peaks

do you read books

do you know bukowski

do you know murakami

have you read gravity’s rainbow

can i bum a cigarette

you must be german

you must be swedish

how do you pronounce your last name

how do you spell your last name

is that german

is that swedish

i like your hair

are you a natural blonde

i wish i could pull off bleached hair

could you bleach my hair

could you give me a stick and poke

can you get me molly

can you get me coke

you’re a cool girl

do you like sativa

do you like indica

what are you drinking

can i bum a cigarette

are you going anywhere after this




should i move to l.a.

Today a random man on the internet asked if he could drink my pee. I asked him ‘Do you think the earth gets hurt when we step on it?’ I watched a couple have a casual conversation about car insurance the way a couple would have a casual conversation about car insurance in a car insurance advertisement. The random man on the internet who asked if he could drink my pee told me he wanted to mix it with his cum and make a ‘cocktail.’ The random man on the internet who asked if he could drink my pee always made sure to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ The random man on the internet who asked if he could drink my pee is the only person on the planet concerned about my hydration other than my mother. Today I walked around town with a shirt that said ‘Adidas’ but what I meant was ‘I’m shy but I have a big dick.’








Alexandra Wuest is a writer and poet based in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared in Hobart, Mr. Beller’s Neighborhood, and htmlgiant, among others. She can also be found on Tumblr and Twitter.


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