I have some grievances towards sex, or rather, evolution. The enjoyment of sex was the best gift from evolution since being able to walk upright. On top of providing orgasms so great we have to scream for deities, sex also helps with depression, migraines, stress, heart disease and even anti-ageing. Which we’re all thankful for, I’m sure.

But why doesn’t sex help with some more useful, daily functions? For example, instead of falling asleep right after sex, why aren’t we suddenly inspired to balance our checkbooks? If so many people start their day off with masturbation, why doesn’t it tame procrastination? Instead of a siesta, why wouldn’t a midday quickie increase corporate productivity? À la Wolf of Wall Street, except more structured and less creepy.

Sex and creativity have always been linked, but what about sex and productivity? Maybe it’s because we don’t approach sex in a productive manner. Unless we’re outlining fertility probabilities, we don’t exactly keep a calendar. We don’t have daily or monthly orgasm goals. Most people don’t keep sex diaries, or outline every motion leading up to intercourse.

Should we harness the ancient and mystical powers of sex for mundane errands? Sex should never become so mechanical that it becomes as sexy as paying off your bills (unless you have a Sugar Daddy/Mama, but that’s a different story). However, there is untapped potential between sex and productivity that either we or science itself has failed to connect. If sex has health benefits that can literally extend your life expectancy and help creativity, why can’t we use it to help us get through a 9-5 life?

Gem Blackthorn is QMT's Sex Columnist, and the author/curator of Lust Thrust Thursdays. Send her your submissions and questions at sexsexsex [at] queenmobs.com