(Note: The following are found texts comprised solely of sentences and phrases from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling)

 

Crabbe and Goyle and The Philosopher’s Stone

Malfoy went to join his friends Crabbe and Goyle. Malfoy looked at Crabbe and Goyle, sizing them up. There was of course nothing at all little about Crabbe and Goyle.

Malfoy grinned broadly at Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle chuckled. Crabbe and Goyle sniggered behind their hands. Crabbe and Goyle were shaking with laughter. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle howled with laughter.

Malfoy, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle behind him.

Crabbe and Goyle pushed roughly past the tree. The whirl of fists that was Neville, Crabbe, and Goyle. Neville tried to take on Crabbe and Goyle single handed!

 

Crabbe and Goyle and The Chamber of Secrets

Crabbe and Goyle were sniggering stupidly. Crabbe and Goyle, who always did whatever Malfoy did. His large and thuggish cronies, Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle, who had remained alone at the Slytherin table, shoveling down fourth helpings of trifle. (You’ll need bigger sizes once you’re Crabbe and Goyle.)

A muffled pounding coming from the closet where they’d locked Crabbe and Goyle.

Crabbe and Goyle were always slow on the uptake.

 

Crabbe and Goyle and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Malfoy was talking animatedly to Crabbe and Goyle, who were chortling. Crabbe and Goyle seemed to exist to do Malfoy’s bidding. He smirked at Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle chuckled trollishly. Crabbe and Goyle flexed their muscles threateningly.

A large group including Crabbe and Goyle was huddled together, deep in conversation. Crabbe and Goyle sniggered. Crabbe and Goyle laughed openly.

Malfoy had appeared, followed closely by Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle were looking scared. Crabbe and Goyle looked at him for instructions, thoroughly bewildered.

“C’mon,” he muttered resentfully to Crabbe and Goyle, and they disappeared.

 

Crabbe and Goyle and The Goblet of Fire

Malfoy beckoned to Crabbe and Goyle. His enormous, thuggish cronies. Crabbe and Goyle were both wearing green. “Look at this!” said Malfoy in ecstasy, holding up Ron’s robes and showing Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle guffawed stupidly.

Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle were standing in the shadow of a tree. Draco Malfoy muttering something to Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle were chuckling appreciatively. Crabbe and Goyle seemed to be keeping a lookout.

“Ah, look, boys, it’s the champion,” he said to Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle were standing behind him. Crabbe and Goyle leered.

 

Crabbe and Goyle and The Order of The Phoenix

Draco Malfoy had slid out from behind the door, followed by Crabbe and Goyle. Malfoy was whispering with Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle gave their usual grunts of laughter. He strode away, laughing heartily with Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle, who had already been guffawing at the idea of Hagrid being sacked, laughed still harder. Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.

Crabbe and Goyle are in the same mold. They’re two blokes called Crabbe and Goyle.

Malfoy, advancing now, Crabbe and Goyle flanking him. Crabbe and Goyle lumbering in his wake.

“Of course, it’s not what you know,” he was heard to tell Crabbe and Goyle loudly.

Crabbe and Goyle were now flexing their arms.

Crabbe and Goyle would’ve torn you apart.

 

Crabbe and Goyle and The Half-blood Prince

Crabbe and Goyle had evidently failed to achieve the required O.W.L. grade. Crabbe and Goyle were both sitting with their mouths open like gargoyles. Crabbe and Goyle intend to pass their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. this time around.

Crabbe and Goyle were gawping at Malfoy. He’ll have loads better cronies than Crabbe and Goyle now. Admittedly, he spotted Crabbe and Goyle moving around the castle on their own more often than usual.

Over at the Slytherin table Crabbe and Goyle were muttering together. It’s just Crabbe and Goyle as usual.

Malfoy’s using Crabbe and Goyle as lookouts. Ha! Crabbe and Goyle. He’s got Crabbe and Goyle transforming into girls.

 

Crabbe and Goyle and the Deathly Hallows

Crabbe and Goyle were standing behind him, shoulder to shoulder.  Some people are into it, though; Crabbe and Goyle love it.

“We was hiding in the corridor outside,” grunted Goyle.

Crabbe was smiling like a small child promised a large bag of sweets. Crabbe pointed his wand at the fifty-foot mountain of old furniture. Crabbe had aimed to kill.

Crabbe turned on Malfoy with undisguised ferocity. “Like it hot, scum?” roared Crabbe as he ran. Crabbe outstripped all of them.

“C-Crabbe,” choked Malfoy as soon as he could speak. “CCrabbe . . .”

Goyle’s wand flew out of his hand and disappeared into the bulwark of objects beside him. Malfoy grabbed the Stunned Goyle and dragged him along. Malfoy with his arms around the unconscious Goyle, the pair of them perched on a fragile tower of charred desks. Malfoy and Goyle remained slumped hopelessly on the corridor floor.

Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle had vanished from view.

 

Tara Roeder is an associate professor of writing in Queens, New York. Her poetry and prose have appeared in multiple journals. Her most recent chapbooks include Every Bird Is A Miracle, a collaboration with visual artist Arman Safa (New Michigan Press), and Panic Dance (dancing girl press).