dear invisible cat’s cradle: here’s a nesting of queer epiphanies

I opened the things I cannot tell my Vietnamese immigrant mother and somber birds fell out

I opened the somber birds and the silent persistence of black mold on toilet rims fell out

I opened the silent persistence of black mold on toilet rims and my undergraduate college group
therapist fell out

I opened the undergraduate college group therapist and syzygy within a Venus fly trap fell out

I opened the syzygy within a Venus fly trap and gut grammar and lavender sleep mist fell out

I opened the gut grammar and lavender sleep mist and my girlfriend of five years fell out

I opened the girlfriend of five years and Virginia Woolf’s lark, dinner parties, and mania fell out

I opened the Virginia Woolf’s lark, dinner parties, and mania and Shanghai spicy hand cut lamb
noodles fell out

I opened the Shanghai spicy hand cut lamb noodles and Eileen Myles’s fat finger in a peanut butter
jar post-sex fell out

I opened the Eileen Myles’s fat finger in a peanut butter jar post-sex and fossilized lichen and the
25-foot-long cold crested lizard from early Antarctic expeditions fell out

I opened the fossilized lichen and the 25-foot-long cold crested lizard from early Antarctic expeditions
and 700,000 Vietnamese refugees waiting in Thailand fell out

I opened the 700,000 Vietnamese refugees waiting in Thailand and old words to reassemble new
disappointment fell out

I opened the old words to reassemble new disappointment and the human tendency to seek patterns
in random information fell out

I opened the human tendency to seek patterns in random information and a pre-pagan symbol for
harvest and full moon offerings fell out

I opened the pre-pagan symbol for harvest and full moon offerings and a self-portrait as an avocado
pit fell out

I opened the self-portrait as an avocado pit and a sweaty crowd from a doo-wop jazz bar in New
Orleans fell out

I opened the sweaty crowd from a doo-wop jazz bar in New Orleans and Vietnamese vowels,
diphthongs, and triphthongs fell out

I opened the Vietnamese vowels, diphthongs, and triphthongs and assimilation, self-erasure, and
shame fell out

I opened the assimilation, self-erasure, and shame and translated quotes from Kafka’s Letters to
Milena fell out

I opened the translated quotes from Kafka’s Letters to Milena and it is not uncommon to eat yourself
alive from dead thing’s past fell out

I opened the it is not uncommon to eat yourself alive from dead thing’s and forgiveness fell out

I opened the forgiveness and submission and defeat fell out

I opened the submission and defeat and a simple love story post war in three parts fell out

I opened the simple love story post war in three parts and my inability to process joy since I inherited
my mother’s trauma while she was pregnant with me fell out

I opened the inability to process joy since I inherited my mother’s trauma while she was pregnant with
me and the evolution of consciousness and totems for a sea witch fell out

I opened the evolution of consciousness and totems for a sea witch and the locomotive defenses of
nautiluses, squids, cuttlefish, and octopuses fell out

I opened the locomotive defenses of nautiluses, squids, cuttlefish, and octopuses and threats are
promises people want to keep fell out

I opened the threats are promises people want to keep and my irrational fear that death awaits after
multiple climaxes fell out

I opened the irrational fear that death awaits after multiple climaxes and threats are promises people
want to keep fell out

I opened the threats are promises people want to keep and clarity is not sudden it catapults from
primal emotions in the cold sun fell out

I opened the clarity is not sudden it catapults from primal emotions in the cold sun and isn’t death
just another climax dear fell out

I opened the isn’t death just another climax dear and a twin flame Polaris witch holding moon water
fell out

I opened the twin flame Polaris witch holding moon water and my uterus and saggy right breast fell
out

I opened the uterus and saggy right breast and 108 Bodhi mala beads with some fried eggs were
suspended from the sky

Epiphanies are nutritious, my grandmother said, if you can afford them

 

Jax NTP holds a Master in Fine Arts from California State University, Long Beach. They teach critical thinking, literature, and composition at Golden West College, Irvine Valley College, and Cypress College. They edit fiction and poetry for The Offing Magazine and Indicia Lit. Their words have been featured in various publications including Berkeley Poetry Review, Apogee Journal, Hobart Literary Magazine, Berfrois, San Diego Reader and The Cordite Review.

Header image: Postage stamps from VietNam (late 70's, early 80's), from the stamp collection of Joe Linker.