Appetizers

Passing on prayer, I was pricked by a prawn.

Denouncing the demagogue, I was disgraced with a dip.

Wrestling for women’s rights, I was wrangled out of wine.

Obsessing over Obama, I was outlawed with an olive.

Condemning conservatism, I was cold-cocked by cornbread.

Sporting a safety pin, I was smothered with salsa.

Nagging for Net Neutrality, I was normalized by nuts.

Main Courses

Trending with transgenders, I was trolled by turkey.

Warning against white privilege, I was wooed with white meat.

Gushing for gays, I was goaded with giblet gravy.

Focusing on fracking, I was flatlined by flounder.

Hugging our housecleaner, I was harassed with ham.

Merging with Muslims, I was muffled by mackerel.

Side dishes

Advocating abortion, I was amended with asparagus.

Pledging to Planned Parenthood, I was pelted with peas.

Stretching Social Security, I was slandered with sage stuffing.

Commenting on climate change, I was clobbered with chestnuts.

Quoting the popular vote, I was kick-boxed with kale.

Accepting the ACA, I was abolished through artichokes.

Concerned for Civil Rights, I was corrected with cranberries.

Blessing Black Lives Matter, I was booed with black beans.

Rallying for refugees, I was rebuked with rhubarb.

Easing past emails, I was educated with eggplant.

Rejecting racism, I was restricted to risotto.

Dessert

Persecuting the pipeline, I was patronized with pumpkin pie.

Mobilizing for marijuana, I was moderated with marzipan.

Slurring Super PACs, I was shamed by Sweet Potato Snickerdoodles.

Boosting Bernie, I was belittled with brownies.

Daniel Presley is an American author and screenwriter living in Paris. His film Populaire (2013) was released in over thirty-five countries. It won Best Narrative Feature at the San Francisco International Film Festival and Best First Feature at the COLCOA Festival. His fiction has appeared in The Minnesota Review, Hunger Mountain, Wigleaf, Hobart, Drunken Boat, decomP, Thrice, Akashic Books, among others. He is currently finishing a novel and a collection of short stories. You can find him at Twitter: @daniel_presley or at his website: danielpresley.com.