1. MARTIN AMIS

Queen Mob’s Teahouse is without the slightest grasp of the national character – an abysmal deficit for any literary magazine, let alone a torchbearer. Queen Mob is the fluky beneficiary of a drastic elevation. She’s undereducated, incurious and humourless.

Please watch the movie adaptation of London Fields. Please.

2. HILLARY CLINTON

When I got to work as editor of QMT, I opted for convenience to use my personal email account, which was allowed by Rauan Klassnik, because I thought it would be easier to carry just one device for my work and for my personal emails instead of two. Looking back, it would’ve been better if I’d simply tweeted countless animated GIFs.

3. MELISSA BRODER

bro, do you even leave comments here

brb, sending sext to queen mob

let’s go 2 the void of coffee chat

u be the queen, my ego will feed

4. SETH ABRAMSON

Metamodernism is the dominant cultural philosophy of the Internet Age. The term was coined in 1975 by American professor Mas’ud Zavarzadeh, don’t cha know? In the past few years, I and others have argued that metamodern philosophy is the best means of understanding Queen Mob’s Teahouse. Feel free to comment below on anything you see here. What do you make of it?

5. MICHAEL ERIC DYSON

Queen Mob’s narcissism is not exemplified by her sense of being jilted but in the way she has personalized her grief. She lumbers into her future, punch-drunk from too many fights unwisely undertaken, facing a cruel reality: Her greatest opponent isn’t Real Pants, the death of alt-lit, P.E. Garcia, or me. It is the ghost of a self that spits at her from her own mirror.

6. GEORGE H. W. BUSH

The Queen is very hard-line. Just iron-ass.

7. YI-FEN CHOU

Huh! That Queen looks ridiculous staggering its way

across teh interweb, the one I can never
find decent amateur porn on. Do you know the old

joke: that, hypothetically, OOO doesn’t fly? But it looks so

gnarly.

8. KENNETH GOLDSMITH

No comment.