There’s mutual masturbation and then there’s mutual respect of each other’s nightstand reading material- both mega turn-ons.

I hooked up with someone who went at it harder because he saw that I had an open paperback copy of Inherent Vice next to my bed and when he told he how much he liked that I was reading it, I became even more stimulated in multiple ways.

“What’re you reading?” is the new “What’re you wearing?” (you know, like wearing on – your mind).

“What’s on your bookshelf?” is often more exciting than “Can I motorboat your shelf?”- well, maybe.

As John Waters says, “if they don’t have books, don’t f*ck ’em”.

Now, there’s a spray that makes you smell like old books. YES. Mental flip of Patrick Suskind’s book that became a film: PERFUME. Can you distill the essence of a person? Can you distill a book? A story?

Last month during the week of Valentine’s Day, I went to a thing at a place where they make custom scents. The event was an art project by Bettina Hubby. Bettina has a thing for boobs too- one of her projects being titled “Thanks for The Mammaries”.  I learned there about the various human olfactory reactions to certain smells.

The smell of clean laundry turns me on.

Smells and book talk. Smelling like books. It should all work.

What smells, stories, books rev you up and get your blood flowing faster?

If anyone would like to send paperback perfume samples to QueenMobs, we’ll wear it to book fairs and see if we can pick up fellow bibliophiles…

Cornelia grew up in the wooded lands of The Blair Witch and the times of the nineties. She's learning the trials and tribulations of phone app dating on the dirty streets of Downtown Los Angeles, whilst making sure Hollywood stays Satanic and playing the theremin.