Putin Test IV: Vladimir Savich

Does Putin feel left out every time NATO meet up and sing a song?

Prima facie, this question seemed a little silly. To be perfectly honest, it seemed completely stupid. However, before I started to answer I decided to listen to some music. And then I wondered, is the question about music or about politics? I think it’s about politics, because without music there is no political life. On the other, without politics there is no music. Politics go hand-in-hand with music; the style of politics dictates the style of music.

I decided to listen to Miles Davis’s classic album ‘Round About Midnight. After the first chords I found the answer to your question, Claire. While NATO sings songs such as “Give Peace a Chance”, “All You Need Is Love” or “Imagine”, Mr. Huylo sings The Doors. Come on baby light my fire to detonate my nuclear bomb!

Leaders of NATO stop singing! Don’t wait for the atomic rooster to start singing. 

How did Putin score so many goals at ice hockey?

I am writing these lines while listening to The Beatles. It’s not a really famous song. “Tomorrow Never Knows”. Why? I hope you will understand shortly.

Mr. Huylo can score as many goals as he wants. Any Russian goalkeepers will gladly miss a puck shot by Mr. Huylo. Furthermore, any Russian woman will happily give birth if the father of that child is Mr. Huylo.


All residents of Russia will willing rename it Huylandia.

Dear readers, let Russian citizens horse around. Dear readers, let Mr. Huylo score thousands of goals. But don’t let him score an atomic goal.  Dear readers, don’t let him destroy our fragile peace. Dear readers, we need to know about our tomorrow.

What does Putin dream of? Pancakes? Flying?

I would rather answer this question at night. The sun sets and turns its lights out. Stars twinkle in the night sky. The moon begins to shine; I’m high right now. Marijuana is not the cause, but rather the Beatles song “Good Night”.

Close your eyes and I’ll close mine, Good night sleep tight

At nightfall, you might wonder about Putin’s dreams. Let me gather my thoughts – it’s as easy as ABC. Mr. Putin – Huylo! He’s hanging on patrons all day. Mr. Huylo has eye only on his dream. Power has specific dreams. At nightfall, Mr. Huylo becomes a raven. He flies over the Donetsk and Lugansk battlefields; lands on the still warm soldiers’ bodies, starts eating them and drinking their blood.  Blood being his nutrition and the cornerstone of his dinners. Thereafter, Mr. Huylo eats their fresh offal. Mr. Huylo prefers greasy livers and bloody spleens. For dessert, he selects eyes and tongues. After dinner he closes his eyes.

Dream sweet dreams for me (Dream sweet) Dream sweet dreams for you

Later, during the night, a mobile crematorium will arrive on the battlefield and turn the corpse’s mould into grey ashes. You may ask me, how do I know about this? A little bird (who lives in this area) told me, my friends.


Does Putin love to win at FIFA?

I love the Beatles because their music helps me to answer difficult questions. Does Putin love to win at FIFA? It isn’t a simple question, especially today, with FIFA being blacklisted. Now I am listening the Beatles’ song “And I Love Her”. The hero in this song loves a girl and he only has eyes for her. She’s like a bright star. She’s a fairy tale. She’s a mystery. She’s the entertainment of an Arabian night. What does My Huylo like? He likes a lot, but most of all he likes to win. He always avoids defeat. This is Mr. Huylo’s trick.

giphy (2)

He defeated Russia. He defeated the Russians. He defeated Obama. He won Merkel.  He won the Olympics. He is the hockey champion. He scored the most goals in history. He won many Russian women. People say that he thrives, even children think so. Why couldn’t he win FIFA? Of course, he won FIFA. He won FIFA with bribes. The World Cup 2018 in Russia is a big bribery. How Putin won Obama? Maybe he bribed him as well. Why not? The odd trick decides everything in the world today.

Everything has a price. Our life is just a matter of profit? Get it?

Then I have a question. What can you buy in a nuclear desert? Nothing! Nothing! Do you want to become part of the atomic dust swing? If not, then it’s time to sing to Mr. Huylo:

I’m on the highway to hell

On the highway to hell

Highway to hell

I’m on the highway to hell

Will Putin ever marry again?

Mr. Huylo and his wife divorced a few years ago. If Putin wants to marry again? It is a very simple question.

Putin is not an old man. Putin is the power that be. To be honest, Mr. Huylo is a small, shabby, bald, unpresentable, aggressive, greedy, nondescript, cowardly man. He does not have the moves like Jagger. Yes, he has many shortcomings. However, he could easily compensate them. How? This is another easy question, similar to asking how children are born.

The birds and the bees confused me! He has cosmetic surgery every six months. He has a big bank account. He has a beautiful yacht, magnificent palaces. He has no problem to buy Viagra, if his dick does not work well. He can find himself any woman, it is not a problem for him. He could sing them a song:

Woman, I can hardly express

My mixed emotions and my thoughtlessness

He can find a man: a muscular, handsome, fiery man. He could sing him a song:

gave you all the love I got

I gave you more than I could give

He might find a man but this is hot potato. Putin does not want any woman or man. He wants to marry the whole world. He wants us to wash his socks, iron his pants, hand him his hat and coat. Achieve all his sexual perversions. Nevertheless, that is not all. Ideally, he wants to become a new God and get married with the universe.

Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns

It calls me on and on, across the universe

Jai Guru Deva OM

The Universe that he turned into nuclear dust. That should be forbidden! Dear readers, we have to turn him to dust. Mr. Huylo, for you are dust, and to dust you shall return (Genesis 3:19).

giphy (3)

Submit a comment