POEM: Timothy Volpert & Danny Caine

You Got James Franco’s Directing Herbert White from the Library
and you really tried to read it but just couldn’t do it
but perhaps more terrifyingly, while you were trying,

it read you

every night now, you’ll wake up briefly
to snapchats of James Franco’s dick with a line from one of his poems

being snapchats, of course, they’ll be gone
by morning and no one will believe you
the dick-pics will be nothing compared to the night terrors
where your left arm is trapped under a boulder-sized version of James Franco’s head

every time you switch your phone to the front facing camera
you’ll see James Franco

friends and family members will comment on your facebook pictures:
                i’ve never noticed b4 but u kinda look like james franco!

you’ll go to Starbucks and order a PSL and say your name is Danny 
but the barista writes “James” on the cup         Same thing at Panera

in the mid-afternoon most days, you’ll be struck by a sudden panic
convinced you’re missing class at one of the many masters’ programs you’re enrolled in

though it is a football Sunday, every TV at B-Dubs
will show Pineapple Express. Halfway through, forty James Francoes

will look at you and say, “This movie taught me acting
is fun, just like I said in that one poem.     In my poetry book.”

Seth Rogen will show up at your house with a six-pack;
his face lights up when you open the door, but then becomes confused

meanwhile, in LA, a man who looks just like you
steps out of James Franco’s mansion, and smiles at the sunlight, finally free

Danny Caine‘s poems have appeared or are forthcoming in Minnesota Review, New Ohio Review, Atticus Review, and others. Hailing from Cleveland, he currently lives in Lawrence, KS where he is Assistant Managing Editor of Beecher’s. dannycaine.com
Timothy Volpert is a poet, musician, activist and armchair sociologist from Topeka, Kansas, where he works for the public library. You can find him on Tumblr  and Twitter if you’re so inclined, but Franco-ly my dear he doesn’t give a damn.


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