Poems: Dntsq Z. Thchrmn

Illo for Dntsq Z. Thchrmn's poems.

RAP GAME JOKE FORMAT

 
“Even thinking about fixing something helps when you’re angry” —Fred Rogers

“Cooooooooooookkieeeee” —Cookie Monster
 

I wouldn’t call them * jokes *
so much as inexplicable
abrupt detours
into silliness

The superfluous is the enemy of the necessary

feel free to remind me of that
Goethe quote whenever
I complain about nonsense

(so, always)

not to make light of your pain,
but Hellacious Dickens
would make a good roller derby name
 
 

LISTEN WEEKDAYS FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A FAMILY FOUR PACK OF TICKETS TO THE ZELZAH SHRINE CIRCUS AT ORLEANS ARENA ON SUNDAY, JANUARY 12TH!

Harvard Beets Kale

Cat butt

One advantage of a standing desk in the home office
is that I don’t have to deal with cat butt

Honk

A huge, pickled
knuckle of pork

Critique
my gourmet
salami
stick pic
 
 

HI GUNNAR, WE ARE HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT WE ARE ABLE TO OFFER YOU 20% OFF A TRACKWRESTLING GOLD MEMBERSHIP

Sloping off to the hair palace
for the Japanese gas station donut adventure

I don’t think you could have been named Bea Arthur tho

How can there be no
complete text of Personism online
do I even want to be on the Internet anymore

Is it cold yet
The bluet ape

How about now, is it cold now

Art history
as a race to be
the dumbest person
alive
 
 

THANK YOU FROM INFINITI OF ORLAND PARK / THANK YOU FROM INFINITI OF CLARENDON HILLS

ha ha very funny can I have
my senses of stability
and self back now

Do you need
a target
for your unfocused rage?

May I recommend
NOT ME

Abandon hope
all ye who dial in
 
 

THE SUMMER’S BIGGEST THURSDAY PARTY RETURNS TO HUNTINGTON VILLAGE!

Why don’t you read
some horrible website
and tell me about it,

is a kale bagel
a kegel

an egg bagel
an eagle

pumpernägels
everythingles

checking account =
wallet =
pocket =

opening the car window
as I drive
and letting the bills
flutter out of my hand
 
 

KUNDUN AND CHUNNEL. KUNDUN AND SHANNA LEE. I WILL LOVE YOU, UH, KUNDUN AND SHANNA LEE

If your ad uses a song that says
“I wanna see you be brave”
you need to fire your ad agency

Remember that time a governor of New Jersey
was driving 90 mph and got in an accident

Remember that time a governor of New York
drank a glass of polluted water on camera

Still trying to see what
empowering message survives
the horrific darkness in
“do what you want with my body”

I think I just saw someone
call someone else
fake chicken

is there a hotline I can call
 
 
 
Dntsq Z. Thchrmn is an Internet flaneur and poetry critic whose writing can be found at tinyletter.com/dntsqzthchrmn and in the poetry section of The New Yorker Minute. This is the first publication of Thchrmn’s poems.

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