4: And then the Drowning Depths of the Piscean Anxiety
Originally written on July 7, 2017. “And then the Drowning Depths of the Piscean Anxiety” is the fourth part in a series of eight. All images in the sequence originally captured at Yosemite National Park.
The next intrusion
arrives before it leaves
and leaves before it arrives.
It is the ghost ship we all dread to see.
Mysterious figure we haven’t yet known.
A consolidation of will.
Coercion against willingness.
The urge to decompose.
Anxiety and the blame.
A rearing head of shame is far more staggering than a spark: I remember staggered lightning, launching into sequential squalor.
To urge to be released: to beg
to be placed
to know grace
unchallenged, bleary, and still
Removal of setting uprooting of urgency the leer of the jaw as the want to scream (the hissing is constant a purplish tinnitus)
Could something so arranged be so maniacal?
Exquisite the ways the world collapses and we barely hold on
ghost ship revisiting abandoned net
bobbing among misted swell
in a plain vision it does get better
but it will never stop its haunt
will never stop its thorough rot
carcass will never be complete
will never be completely abandoned
the incessant pulpy remnant remedial gore reductionist offering tangled and pinched trickery and gaunt ovoid gauntlet incising
that beg that
where is the resistance
encompassing as blanket
ocean of death
where we sit
in the drown
a certain confidence
a lack of solutions
winning that cannot be reached
burden that cannot cease
Wait. Pause. Pass. Breath.
As the rhythm is what keeps it.
As the collected feel is what breathes it.
As the moment of rest is what grows it.
As the mindful ceremony is what grasps it.
And down it comes upon all the self’s spaces.
Patchwork of cerulean crest and brownish trough:
what does not manage to push and pull
will cause a higher diagonal rising
and the inevitable thrash momentously tragic
a cycle of rip and sheer crippling prescience.
The spaces of elevation new depths of destruction.
This is the drip that floods the room, provides the glimpse, and is quickly forgotten.