God, how did you get interested in that?

Really.

Was your dad or brother in the military or something?

Well good for you.

I would never have guessed.

Hmm.

Like from an outsider’s viewpoint?

I think it’s great you’re interested in that.

Oh. Like military historians.

So do you have a connection to the subject matter?

Wow.

No, seriously – I would never have guessed.

It must wear on you.

Well.

You don’t say.

So where did that come from?

Sorry – I’m just really surprised.

Huh.

Susan Harlan is an English professor at Wake Forest University, and her work has appeared in venues including The Guardian US, Roads & Kingdoms, The Morning News, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Atlas Obscura, The Toast, Public Books, and The Establishment.