Lust Thrust Thursdays: Property Sex and Millennial Angst

Millennials are so screwed, it was only a matter of time before PornHub gave us a visual representation of just how much. Millennials are dragging student loans, unemployment and the burden of having all their problems analyzed and explained back to them on social media. Homeownership is risible to consider under these circumstances. In fact, while millennials claim that homeownership is important, they will be defined as the generation still living with their parents while being 18-30 years of age.

Somewhere in this convolution came the rise of Property Pornography. It’s the simplest premise.  

Hot Agent in a tight pencil skirt shows off a house, the potential buyer is hesitant, Hot Agent proceeds to show him she’ll do anything for the sale.

Variations exist, such as the creepy rape-esque scenes where the potential buyer is the one that demands the Hot Agent to undress and spread her legs for the sale. After a lot of digging, I found a version where the Hot Agent doesn’t screw the buyer at all. Instead she is so excited about a sale, she invites the boyfriend to the house she just sold so they can have sex around the property. That scenario is the only one free of coercion and desperation and it’s rare for the genre.

VICE recently published an article that connected Property Porn and Millennials economic struggles. It’s true, Property Pornography captures desperation like no other genre. To the point where I disagree with VICE’s comparison to the Pizza Delivery Boy fantasy. The delivery boy isn’t desperate for tips, he usually just stumbles upon a bored housewife. In the realm of BDSM scenarios, both parties have come to a dom/sub agreement and have a safe word. The teacher/student scenarios have a level of playfulness, and the borderline incestual step-brother/sister porn tends to have a level mutual mischiefness thanks to the chance that their parents will walk in. And while desperation is often included in some of these (“I’ll do anything for a good grade” to “I’ll do anything you want as long as you don’t tell dad I borrowed the car), Property Porn is only about the desperation to make money. And it is growing in popularity.

Real Estate isn’t inherently thrilling. Besides a pencil skirt and an unbuttoned blouse, there’s not much you can do the scenario that won’t become repetitive, but porn watchers are eating it up.  VICE claims that it is because wanting to jump your real estate agent is relatable. Personally, I think the  desperation to make commission is what everyone can relate to, especially this generation. It’s a fact that Millennials are selling homes as real estate agents in larger amounts than Millennials are buying homes.

Property Porn has become a sexual visualization of current economic frustrations. And while it’s as fun as any porn, it’s a little sad that these economic frustrations have trickled into our sex life.

Gem Blackthorn is QMT's Sex Columnist, and the author/curator of Lust Thrust Thursdays. Send her your submissions and questions at sexsexsex [at] queenmobs.com

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